So I've been invited to attend the city's Healthiest Employer Luncheon this week. This time I'll be formally introduced by one of the founders of the clinic as a shining example of weight loss but I have a dilemma.
This is a big deal for me, (one of five children and a former fat girl who didn't get much attention), and there are people counting me to represent. I need to nail this and transform my normal day mom look to a Jennifer Hudson "holy hell" look asap, but I don't know if I can make this miracle happen.
I'm afraid that all the cans of self tanning spray and all the tubes of concealer in the world aren't enough to cover the shit that went down today. You see, I was trying to watch my son play his football game when one of the other moms is all like "I need to take pictures of the whole game every week". Last week she took it upon herself to declare herself VIP and now feels entitled to cross the yellow rope that separates the team from the parents on the sidelines anytime she wants. This way she can proceed to have a hundred pictures of the same thing while simultaneously blocking everyones' view.
I guess I could have done this too, if I didn't care about other people, but I opted to take the high road and climbed up the best dilapidated wooden bleachers The Boys and Girls Club of Tampa had to offer instead. In my haste to see all the action, I wasn't looking and smacked my shin on a rough corner. It's been about ten hours since this happened and it's currently swollen into big purple and blue goose egg! I don't even have to walk and it hurts.
I was thinking about wearing a skirt or dress for the upcoming special occasion but now I'm not so sure that would be very flattering. Sure I could wear black tights or trousers but this is Florida and it's still 90 degrees. Maybe I'll just mask the bruise by dressing all in black and blue. Nobody will probably even notice, but if they do, it will look like a matching accessory.
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