I just found out that the Medi tour may have reached downtown Tampa. I have to say, I'm not a fan of that area and am a little worried.
Last week I saw my sign, (with the parents in tow), in Brandon and was initially psyched. In Lutz, I'm surrounded by heavy traffic, car dealerships, and another billboard of a bikini clad woman (she only lost 55lbs) but it's pretty much the only sign on the block in sleepy B-town. That's key if Oprah is ever going to discover me. It could very well happen if she ever veers off course on her next road trip with Gayle.
Yet when I showed my young sons the picture, it suddenly dawned on me that it kind of looks like I'm hanging out at the corner. Add in the slogan, "The one that works" and the telephone number and it could be easily misconstrued. That's not what I was going for. I mean, for all I know Medi could be an acronym for the Male Erectile Dysfunction Institute. It would explain a lot. Like why they didn't tell me about it sooner, why the building has tinted windows, why it's located directly across from a fire station... Hell, there's even a lovely assisted living facility a stones throw away.
I may appear naive but my momma didn't raise no fool. They are seriously messing with the wrong chick. I'm going to have to talk to my lawyer asap, right after I stock up on some mace. Luckily he's located on the same road as the Tampa location.
Please don't sue. That will be the only billboard out there worth looking at. Plus, it would be truth in advertising, which is in contrast to my first ever night driving in Tampa. I got lost on Nebraska Avenue, it was dark, and there was nobody out there except a a woman who works. Only it turned out to be a guy. He gave me directions gladly though. The point is... don't be mad, because who knows... maybe you'll become a landmark, a guiding light to lost souls getting lost in the sleeping, sprawling urban maze.
ReplyDeleteNo offense, but I can't believe you asked for directions on Nebraska Ave. That guy was probably packing heat and high out of his mind. Teens are stabbed to death at Burger Kings down there! I've seen it. You can't be too careful. Anyways, thank you for what I think was a compliment. I did sign their contract but was unaware that I'm their only Florida representative. They've been keeping me in the dark, not paying me, and blacklisting me from becoming a motivational author/super model. I don't trust them. On a positive note, I have been getting repeated calls from the Chicago area which can mean that Oprah's people have found me. I just have to get on her favorite things list and I'll be set for life.
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