Dear Local Fitness Gym,

Thank you for inviting me for a free seven day trial.  I also appreciate the free tanning session as well.  Good call on that.  (I suppose that translucent look I was sporting gave me away.)

However,  I did notice a few things during my recent visit that I believe, if addressed, would increase your sales dramatically. No, I have no real business experience but I think I understand the average womans' point of view, so please take these suggestion into consideration.

Okay, first you need to make it possible for us to listen to the music being played via our headphones in addition to the television.  I like my personal Ipod shuffle as much as the next music junkie but it's always nice to mix it up and listen to something new.  Your playlist is cool but muffled behind all the other equipment noises and if Justin Bieber is not blasting in my ear then I just can't effectively get my grove on the StairMaster.

Next, we need to address the whole mirror situation.  I get that the no neck, macho men like to admire their muscles as much as possible but placing these looking glasses in the back corner near the ab machines is just not appropriate.  No woman can see themselves when they are lying down on a bench in the recline position with their legs bent and elevated like they are preparing for a pap test from the gyno. Really, what's the point? Besides, that's just not a site we want the strange  mid-life crisis guy on the rowing machine to see.  We have a right to a six pack without exploitation too. I think a simple blank wall would be much more user friendly.

Finally, you need to do something about the freakin' supermodels!  Yes they work hard to achieve their figures but they make the rest of us feel horribly inadequate.  We want to feel good about ourselves and seeing their perfectly toned physiques that are superior to any actress in Hollywood frankly just makes us want to peg them as hard as we can with a balancing ball.  It's extremely unmotivating to know that we could spend our whole lives working out and would still never reach that level of perfection, so maybe they need their own VIP section.  A separate room with a back entrance and no windows where us commoners don't have to be blinded by their star like beauty.  Hell, we would settle for a mandatory must wear a baggy t-shirt  and no makeup rule just to level the playing field.  Just some ideas to think about...

Your helpful neighborhood customer,
Mrs. B