Enough Already

Let me just say that this was how I looked a week before doing the video testimony posted below.



Football mom chic, right? But somehow, when sitting down in front on a television camera, I look like I swallowed it. You know how they say that the camera adds ten pounds, well now I believe it. All of those actresses must look borderline anorexic in person. But in my case, it looks like the camera piled on twenty pounds.

People debating about whether to try the program want to see the results and I just don't think that particular shirt really sells it. Initially I wore a more flattering dress but it didn't work with the lighting and white background, so I had to change. Then, I had to do some readjusting so, umm, certain straps wouldn't show and it just didn't read as well as I think it could have.

Not that my poor posture helped matters either. No wonder I have back problems. I've been working on my core for months now and definitely know better.

And could I be an more calm? I was nervous and trying to stay composed but I look like I'm one yawn away from an Ambien induced coma. A big gulp size coffee on the drive to the studio that morning might not have been such a bad idea. Oh, and my attempt at humor at the end - kinda lame. Yeah, my mother thought that was cute but I'm not so sure. The director suggested a one liner as I was rambling, (my hats off to the editors at Tampa Digital Studios), and it sounds a bit rehearsed due to the retakes.

Yet ultimately the whole point of anyone sharing their story is about healing. I wanted to be able to connect to people who are where I used to be and encourage them to take care of themselves and I think I did that, in my own way. Every day I work on not focusing on what I don't have and to value and build on the things that I do, yet I still tend to gravitate toward the negative. Looking back at the clip, this whole experience showed me that I really need to stop thinking that I'm not good enough, as it's clearly wearing me out. I'm not perfect and probably never will be, but I don't need to be. It's about making your mind up that you're going to do whatever is that you're taking on and then giving it your best shot. Something that, if I look back, I've tried to do time and again.

The video may or may not affect anyone but I was afraid to do and did it anyways, just like I did when I first stepped foot in the clinic. Good or bad, I still managed to get through it despite myself and that's a small victory in itself.

YouTube - Changed Lives: Erin