Dam-darnit, Little E. put the modesty sock back on and grab those froggy shorts next to you while you're at it! What is wrong with you? Other people sit on that couch you know. Way to be professional and maintain your dignity and all. We all get caught up in the heat of the moment from time to time, but you can't be taking it all off at your DJ gigs just because some chicks are waving dollar bills! It's not money E. Justin Bieber wouldn't stoop so low and look at all the babes he gets.
There's also no drinking on the job either and don't even try to tell me that someone spiked your apple juice. I can see you going for the two liter in the picture. Some rum and coke anyone? It's a bit much, don't you think? What about the family reputation - your poor mother. You're children could see these photos someday. Is that the kind of example you want to be...
I've really had it with your antics this time! Since your frontal lobe is still forming and you obviously can't rely on it to make sound judgement calls, I've decided to enlist the services of a personal assistant/bodyguard for you. That's right, Uncle J. will be on you like spaghettios sauce on your face after lunch, tracking your every move at the clubs, (when he's not throwing back Jagerbombs or flirting with cougars), and reporting every detail back to me. So watch your step, Mister! I don't ever want to see your pale, unclothed, little booty again unless I'm changing your diaper or giving you a bath. Do you understand?
Just be yourself E. Money and don't worry about trying to impress the ladies. If she doesn't like you for who you are and all that you have to offer than she's not worth your time. Besides, those girls probably aren't the type you want to bring home to mommy anyways. The really cool girls save their money in their piggy banks and hangout at the library, the playground, and even the laundry mat.
Just check out Justin's video for some pointers and remember, don't be cheap. You might also want to stay away from wearing hot pink as well, it kinda suggests that you might rather kick it with the boys like Uncle C does.
YouTube - Justin Bieber - One Less Lonely Girl
