What is wrong with this picture? Take a 35 year old woman plus one high energy Aerosmith concert add in some pre-show cow bell (Blue Oyster cult was the opening act), some heavy humidity, some sporadic ass shaking, and a half of a frozen strawberry/margarita swirl daiquiri in a complimentary guitar shaped glass and I feel as if the "Train Kept A-Rollin'" right over ME! It's just plain pathetic and makes no biological sense whatsoever. Everyone else in my family can put the liquor down quite well, but when the drink comes to me, I'm better off actually putting it down on whatever surface I can find, as soon as possible.(I'd swear I was adopted if I didn't resemble the old man so much. Lucky me.) Maybe it was all the sugar added in to fool you into thinking that no alcohol was invited to the party yard. Whatever additives were used, I'm sure my glycemic index quota is still at twice the legal limit and my body is on the verge of a diabetic disaster at this very moment. I can only pray that consecutive glasses of water followed by shots of Dunkin Donuts finest caffeine STAT can save me from slipping into a sleep induced coma.
But I'd go through the pulsating migraine, puffy eyes, and swollen feet all again just to see an event of such dynamic proportions one more time. With any luck, my boys might just get a chance to see these legends for themselves, in a few years but, at this stage in the game, it might just be their last hoorah. That would be a shame because what can compare to: seeing Tyler's hair and collection of scarves blow in the stage fan wind, witnessing Joe Perry's define dexterity as he strums his guitar behind his head and feeling the emotional intensity of the high pitched lyrics reverberate off the rafters and into the beat of your heart? They rocked us all into next week, which considering their age and the decades of hard livin' they've all endured, makes no biological sense either. You would think that these guys would be puffing Cuban cigars poolside at the retirement village and deciding which golf cart to buy to catch the eye of all the hot grannies daughters down here, yet here they still are. I just wish I knew how they do it.
Train Kept A-Rollin'
and
rollin,
and...
never ran out of steam!
