Facebook | The LOLA's Photos - June LOLA
After over an hour of scouring all of the gas stations, grocery stores, and corner stands within a three mile radius of my house I finally found LOLA! I wasn't even looking for "it" when "it" just happened to catch the corner of my eye as I was looking for a book in the library. I could have just as easily walked past, never noticing it but somehow I spotted it, as if some sort of divine intervention was turning my head and controlling my fate. Either that or I'm a complete moron for not coming to the obvious conclusion that the LIBRARY just might be good place to find any local paper I could possibly want and I lucked out. But, as it turns out, the library here has done away with it's newspaper collection, it's magazines, it's decent books and decent hours as a struggling economy is now hurting the very institutions that try to encourage literacy and learning for a better tomorrow. (I'm available to write speeches Mr. Obama,sir.) So, even if I had checked there first, the odds of finding it were still stacked against me. Just like the chances of me losing over 100lbs, being photographed by a big shot photographer for national ads, getting in a newspaper, and oh yeah, getting a call from a highly reputable acting and modeling agency looking for women who are climbing up the hill in years just like me?! (I'd be perfect for Lane Bryant and those minivan commercials.)
What kind of alternate universe am I living in? I know I live close to the Magic Kingdom where they say "Fairytales can come true..." but since when did my fairy godmother care to wave her magic wand in my direction. Well, how you like me now, boys in high school who mooed at me from a second story window while I was waiting in front of the school for my father to take me to my orthodontist appointment? What if I do make it to The Big Apple but for New York fashion week or a role in Broadway play. I hear Marc Jacobs has a new line out for moms on the go and that Mary Poppins could always use someone practically perfect in every way.
All of those years spent studying important subjects in college, trying to make something of myself, when I really should have just taken notes from all the supermodels. I'm setting the dvr to record America's Next Top Model right now. There are clothes to be sold and yachts for designers to buy and I have no idea how to "smize" or sashay in heels without practically falling on my ass.
This calls for a song. Okay, so it's a bit much, I know, but I'm kind of having a moment and everyone is entitled to a few of those, right? I swear I'll turn back into a pumpkin by midnight. After all, I do need my beauty sleep. Take it away Ms. Ross.
