You may be thinking that there's no way this babe was able to switch his baby bottle for the real thing, but you'd be wrong. Cummiskey's are highly intelligent and driven with the newest edition being an even better model when combined with the genes of an even smarter woman. The proof is in the picture. Even tipsy, he still attempts to walk to his playpen but can barely keep his balance. He remembers that he needs to look for the door but the liquor is drowning his neurological connections and he can't tell the difference between a door knob and a dresser handle.
Shortly after, the effects of the booze on his virgin kidneys and small bladder become noticeable. His pants are soiled and he reeks of urine. Daddy promptly changes the boy, throw him into a cold bath, sobers him up with formula, and scolds him for his dastardly deeds. E. hates to hear "NO, bad boy!" and hangs his head, first in shame and then in a drunken stupor.
Miraculously, he makes it to the playpen but falls just a bit short of the intended target at the last minute. (Sadly, this is an inherited trait as well, a pattern he will repeat many times during his lifetime in the pursuit of success.) Not quite ready to drink anyone under the table just yet.
The next morning, all is well. This genetically engineered alcoholic experiences no hangover and no visible signs of a hard night of drinking. In fact, he looks better than ever and is ready for his breakfast of champions. Once adequately fueled, he takes on the world with incredible tenacity and endless charm.
