Merry Friggin Grinchmas

Screw you Woody Woodpecker! I hope that your beak gets stuck in a knothole, so that you're incapacitated should Slyvester the Cat come around. That's right, you heard correctly me you annoying little nut case. If it weren't for the 80 minute wait to ride your candy ass, baby roller coaster that lasts all of 30 seconds, then maybe we wouldn't have missed the Grinchmas musical. I was all set to get an autograph, picture, and possible hug too. An opportunity like that just doesn't come around everyday and there's only a small window of time until my boys get too old to be seen with him. Now I'll have to wait a whole year (without the benefit of free admission from my annual pass) until he comes to Margaritaville again.

Waiting in line with a large crowd of people crammed together has got to be one of the worst forms of torture there is. Add on top of that Woody's laugh track repeating every sixty seconds, multiple train whistles that little kids can pull along the way and a punk tween who keeps bumping into your backpack and then weasels his way in front of you and you too will be on the verge of going off on next person who doesn't move thru the line fast enough. Come to think of it, anyone with a fast pass, who can jump to the head of the line while everyone else has only inched up two feet in the last ten minutes needs to be put in their place too. I know they pay for that privilege but I swear, you would think that some of them were celebrities walking the red carpet by the way they swagger to the front.

It was a true test in patience, but thankfully I was in good company. After covering every topic short of health care reform with the boys, Timmy kept me laughing as he conjured up ways he would seek revenge on Woody while Evan smothered me with hugs as if he was never going to see me again. How could I stay in a bad mood when surrounded by such sweetness? They never once complained, argued, or reenacted Monday Night Raw wrestling moves on each other either. I could have avoided so much heartache growing up if only more of the male species were like them. They'll make their significant other very happy one day.

Aside from our stint in Looney Toon Land, Mission Universal Studios with no other adult backup was relatively successful. I managed not to swear, no one got lost, we didn't suffer any car accidents, and there was no dehydration, starvation, or tears. Timmy puked slightly from chugging his Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough shake too quickly(I was trying to find a table and not paying attention) and Evan freaked out a little when I tried to persuade him to sit on a Seuss animal instead of a bench on the carousel, but overall we all had a fun time. Now we just have to go back next weekend, (when there will be a mass exodus of tourists returning back north) so we can actually go on the other rides.